Charcuterie Fundamentals

Wine tasting party or hoping to pull a little ass? Doesnt matter.  The essentials are always the same. Mass amount of creamy delicious cheeses. Marinated olives, garlic and artichokes. Sundried oil infused tomatoes.  Mixed nuts such as cashews, marcona almonds, pistachios.. Spreads, dips, jellies, and jams. Ballsac vinegrette glaze, (aka. balsamic vinegar glaze) hot mustard, honey mustard, fig jelly. Fruits are fantastic, some grapes and strawberries. If you really want to score, throw in some basil leaves. It will help quiet down that nasty cheese breath your going to have.

Last but not least, you need a vehicle to transport all this deliciousness into your face hole so DO NOT skimp out on the crackers  Without the crackers you're left with a sad, weepy, little antipasto bar, thats not what your going for. So, you'll want to get extra crackers because these always are the first thing to disappear from a fine charcuterie platter.  While your at it, grab some baguettes and maybe some bagel bites. Then call me cuz Im most likely I'm baked and need some snacks.